Hello to all! The topic I would like to open with is addiction. As I wrote my son’s story about his addiction to marijuana and the subsequent accident that nearly cost him his life, this seems like a good place to start.

No one ever has a baby and thinks that child will grow into addictions by the time they are in high school. We teach our children right from wrong. We guide them to make healthy choices. We set examples of how to live. At least, that’s what I believe to be true.

So when my son started smoking pot in high school, and we didn’t find out until we sent him off to college, it was a huge shock indeed! Lots of people asked us how we didn’t know. Well, we didn’t! He wasn’t the best high school student, but he passed his classes. We were thrilled when he was accepted at a private college.  We thought it would be good for him. It wasn’t a big school and he could get help from professors in class if he needed it. We felt confident that he was on the right track.

Let me back up a little bit. In middle school, Dawson came out as gay. From that moment on, things went downhill fast for him. He’d always struggled with school work. He was also ADHD. Still is and on medication for that. He’d never been into sports or joined much at school. We pushed him to be in scouts and 4H. He eventually dropped out of scouts, as the other boys bullied him for years. 4H was a challenge, as he didn’t want to work with animals, or much of any project. He did do shooting sports and excelled at that.

Eventually Dawson fell in with a bad crowd. All girls, as no boys would befriend him, because he was gay. The small town where we live, is not accepting of those that are different. Nearly all the girls he spent time with, were from broken homes, rough backgrounds and were already drinking and using drugs. We were leary of many of these girls, but there were a few that on the right path. As we’d told him that drugs, drinking and all those other things were bad, we mistakenly assumed that he understood that and wouldn’t do those things.  Not my kid, as so many of use think.

Dawson has an addictive personality. He is easily swayed into things by others, as an attempt to fit in and be visible. I think once he discovered marijuana and also alcohol, it was easy to forget and ignore that he was gay, that he wasn’t doing well in school, that he didn’t have very many friends, that he didn’t have anyone to love, or love him. Parental love only goes so far. We all look for a partner, peers to create friendships with. Parents love and guidance isn’t enough.

So using to forget his troubles became his normal. Looking back, I still cannot pinpoint any signs of him using! I really can’t. As a result, his whole life was turned upside down, as well as the rest of our lives! We’ve been on a journey for several years now. It’s exhausting, but there is a lot of hope!

People with addictive personalities are able to turn those urges from bad to good. There are tools available to help them move to the positive parts of life. A good therapist can work wonders. Of course, as we all know, the addict has to want that change.  They have to find the bravery to make the choice to get better, make changes that will totally flip their routines and habits.

As a mother, I love my child beyond measure. As a mother, I’ve had all the feels about my son with the addictive personality. Those are feelings for another post.

I want to hear the stories you have. Please post so we can discuss and encourage one another.

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